Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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