the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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