Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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