its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i love accidental penises.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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