yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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