If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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