party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
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Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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