then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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