$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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