what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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