he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize