I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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