That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
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Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
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The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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