look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
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