Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
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Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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