Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
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Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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