I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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