tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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