I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize