My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize