i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
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To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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