I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
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It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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