Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
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i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He has the fingertips of a God
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