Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize