Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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