you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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