38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize