I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
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