Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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