Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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