No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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