I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
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my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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