so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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