shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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