so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize