i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
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There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
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I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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