I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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