I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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