I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize