The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You need a sexual gate keeper
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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