U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
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It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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