I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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