I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize