I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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