Got a toothbrush?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My balls are so social today.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize