Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
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Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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