she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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