went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize