The maid of honor just puked.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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