Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize